Old age paraphernalia

Life is not the same. The paraphernalia is different too.

I realized that last night when I was taking my blood pressure with my new blood pressure monitor.

Seems I am collecting gadgets that are associated with aging. And so are many of my friends.

We surround ourselves with the comforts of life, like oxygen tanks, wheelchairs, lift chairs, walkers and canes.

I have not yet had to resort to the former but my tastes are changing.

Now instead of searching for gold and silver dancing slippers and sequined blouses, I have turned to conservative therapeutic walking shoes with thick tailored inserts. I look for dress pants with relaxed fit, and elastic waistbands to accommodate my expanding waistline.

I have a tens machine that sends off electrical currents to intercept pain signals. I admit I don't bother using it often.

I have a blood sugar monitor also, in case I need to check my blood sugar at any given time.

What else?

Well, I have a picnic basket of prescription medicines. The list has grown so long that I now carry a printed index card to hand to the nurse or doctor who requests it. It's too much to remember the dosages for all the medications. Therefore, the handy list.

The medicine cabinet holds over-the-counter arthritis medicines, laxatives, sleeping aids, Pepto Bismol, antiseptics and Beano.

Many of the sun sensitive medications I take advise me to stay out of the sun.

It's true I should have avoided the sun in my earlier years because I have been plagued with skin cancers in recent years. My dermatologist says the cancers were caused by overexposture to the sun; an accumulative effect that eventually surfaces The cancers are not life threatening, but they can be

disfiguring.

In my young adult years, I was ignorant of the dangers of ultra violet rays. And I needlessly exposed my young children to dangerous sunburns during those happy days of camping, cookouts, water skiiing on the lake, bathing suits and sunbathing.

Whereas I used to have one Pond's moisturerizer cream, my makeup table now holds regenerating lotion, SPF face and body lotions, renewal creams, deep cleansers, cocoa butter and a micro-dermabrasion anti-aging kit (whatever that is) and age defying body wash.

Then there are the food restrictions in older age.

The foods I cannot eat, must eat, should avoid, should eat, are conflicting.. What do you eat when you are restricted from salt, sugar, fat and numerous carbohydrates?

What happened to those carefree years before old age?.

I don't know, but time changes things..

In old age, you compare health insurance plans.

You can't function without your eyeglasses.

You eat supper at 3 p.m.

No one expects you to run a marathon.

Speed limits are no challenge.

You can't remember secrets.

You prefer big print.

You sing along with funeral music.

You visit cemeteries more often.

Your joints are a predictable weather guage.

You talk about surgeries and illnesses.

You aren't expected to wash dishes at family reunions.

Friends call at 8 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"

A lawn chair is a must at parades, picnics and pageants.

Padded pews are good too.

Ah, these golden years.